Caution: Transporting Children While Macking Hoes

I don’t know about you, but 20 years ago this is the guy I wanted taking me home from St. Michael the Archangel (Home of the Crusaders), a catholic school for those holier than thou.

Interlude: My fellow Crusaders, do you realize that for 8 years of our innocent live-inside-a-bubble youth we proudly wore the word “CRUSADERS” across our chest during Physical Education? I feel dirty.

As a matter of fact, I want my parents’ tuition money back, Father Paz.

Sister Carolyn, you were the best principle ever. I remember when you were my substitute teacher one year. I think it was 7th grade. It was one of the funnest days ever. You couldn’t control the students. That was the day I lost what little respect I had left for you. I love the way you used to twirl the back of your hair around while you would speak publicly to the students. It was of way of saying “I feel so insecure right now”. You were nice and soft spoken, though. I appreciate that.

Sister Mary Gil, keep your hands to yourself. If you were to try that now, you’d get your a*s handed to you. Kids nowadays don’t play. You think you got authority cause you’re an adult? Try again. Mary (can I call you that?), I always wondered who your barber was? He would hook you up with the illest flattops, square sideburns and all. I was so jealous.

Parents, the gentleman driving this Chevrolet Express not only assures your child’s safe return from school, he offers a lesson that can only be rivaled by the after school program held every afternoon on the southeast corner of SR 441 and Miami Gardens Drive.

Your children don’t want the oh-so-boring Maranatas, Franmars, and Carlos & Susanas of the world. Give ’em what they want. Give ’em the guy who uses caution when transporting children while macking hoes.

Photo Credit: Manuel “Manolete” Vidal

Adrian Salgado is a Realtor Associate in Miami, FL and can be reached at 305-491-7179 or


Filed under News of the Different

6 responses to “Caution: Transporting Children While Macking Hoes

  1. Lissette Cruz

    You are too funny! You brought back some Crusader memories. Poor Sister Carolyn she was sweet! And Sister Murder Kill…that lady hit me in the mouth. I liked living in my bubble…I guess I still do. As for our transportation…Blancita Flores illegal 7 kids in one tiny car, no seat belts…those were the days! That picture is priceless…only in Miami!
    Happy Halloween!

  2. Adrian Salgado

    7 kids? I think that number fell short by at least 2. We didn’t need seat belts. We used to do the sign of the cross before leaving every afternoon. Remember? It was “in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit, amen”. Only then could we proceed to exchange Garbage Pail Kids and talk about each others mothers.

  3. LoreL

    OMG!!! Those were the days… A little group of us class of ’91ers actually got suspended for missing an All Saint’s Day church practice. It was great fun seeing the moms duke it out with Sister Florinda. And we got a 3 day weekend WITHOUT Punishment!!!

    But I have to admit that I miss that bubble… And that respect that we all had for authority… Maybe that’s what’s missing from society, the respect for not only authority, but for eachother. Just a thought.

  4. moniqua

    I feel guilty about laughing my ass off while reading this e-mail. That’s the Catholic guilt…all of the mentioned are RIP! I miss St. Mike’s…you should post this on FB.
    Manolete…look what you started with this pic!

  5. Cristy

    I have to admit that as a parent it was very stressful. Especially on weekends because the group were party specialists, always on the go, but I do miss those days and we enjoyed them as much as you all did!

  6. Maribel

    Wow Adrian…Tell us how you really feel!!!!! lol
    Happy Halloween!!!!

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