A Marked or Notable Degree of Hotness (Quick Thoughts)

It’s here again.

That time of year when it’s 106° in the shade (while sipping on a granizado with a cool water-soaked towel draped around your neck, of course). That time of year when stepping outside feels like you just stepped inside the Volcanic Rock Sauna at Neo Vertika (what a crock of sh*t that was). That time of year when you can look any female straight in the eye and unabashedly ask: “Damn mama, you having a bad hair day?”.

The hottest summer in a hundred years?

So hot it won’t bother getting up in 2008.

“Is this some kind of bulletin? Last I checked, Miami was still 1,814 miles north of the equator. It is hotter than dog sh*t in a skillet today and it’ll be hotter than all the weave I saw at South Beach last night tomorrow. As a matter of fact, it’s been hot every summer since the first Tequesta set foot on this piece of swamp”.

I usually don’t mind the heat. I really don’t. It’s not like I mind showing property on a Friday afternoon when it’s 92°, the humidity is 80% and the most prominent feature in our solar system is baking me like some Nestle Toll House chocolate chip cookie . It’s not like I mind exiting my car and sporting a damp long-sleeve button-down stuck to the middle of my back either.

What I do mind is that local media headlines lately read more like “Man Shot for Material Goods On Way Home to Family After a Hard Day’s Night at Work” and less “Man Helps Blind Lady Cross Street While Carrying Groceries With Teeth”.

HEaT + Low Currency in Circulation = Increased Crime Rate?

Anybody out there know if we got some local criminologists treating these as “mutually inclusive”? I can’t make any conclusions without empirical data. Sorry.

It’s gonna be an interesting summer. Will IT be televised?

Adrian Salgado is a Realtor Associate with RED I Realty in Miami, FL and can be reached at 305-491-7179 or SalgadoA@gmail.com.


Filed under Quick Thoughts, Recession

4 responses to “A Marked or Notable Degree of Hotness (Quick Thoughts)

  1. Rob

    What, you don’t like the Volcanic Rock Sauna at the Neo Vertika???? Its a sauna but nothing volcanic about it…..you got to love it!!!

  2. Adrian Salgado


    The only thing volcanic in Neo Vertika is the prosti…

    My bad. I almost went there.

  3. Major13

    WoW! I wish we can go back to those good old days!!!!

    Let’s go to my yacht, in the West Keys
    Ride my jetskis, loungin in the palm trees
    Cause you gotta have cheese for the summerhouse piece on South Beach
    Water so clear, you can see to the bottom
    Hundred-thousand dollar cars, e’ybody got em
    Ain’t no surprise in the club to see Sly, Stallone
    Miami, my second home

  4. Adrian Salgado

    Wil Smith should only rot in a condo conversion for making that song.

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