It’s spring again.
Everybody knows it’s spring again.
To the girls and boys and people above.
This is the time to fall in love.
Nobody beats the Biz.
It’s March. And that can only mean one or all of four things – aguaseros, St. Patrick’s Day (think Miller Lite with blue #2 and yellow #5), my birthday ($20’s, $50’s, & $100’s, cashier’s checks, and wire transfers are accepted – no personal checks), and
Recession Remix ‘09 Volume 2.0 Version
The Recession Remix ‘09 version didn’t include the last (or first – depends on your perspective – half empty/half full?) 7 blocks this year. SW 11th AVE served as the festival’s eastern boundary (as opposed to SW 4th AVE in years past). Kiwanis of Little Havana, sponsor and organizer of the 31-year-old street festival, was forced to (surprise, surprise) cut costs. Organizers cite that donations aren’t rolling through like they used to (not exactly in those words, but…).
Apparently, artists aren’t donating their talents these days either. Baby Rasta y Gringo, Fat Joe, and Mr. 305 himself – Pitbull (of “Culo” fame) – served as “headliners” in this year’s edition, a far cry from the Celia Cruzes, El Gran Combos, Oscar D’Leons, Willie Chirinos, and yes, even the talentless Gloria Estefans (with her record-setting conga line and all) of yesteryear.
But who goes to Calle Ocho for the “talent”? I mean, really, the last thing anybody’s worried about at Calle Ocho is if Yolandita Monge is gonna hit 3 octaves above Middle C. Calle Ocho is for notes of another kind
Yep. Sapporo, the sumo wrestler in a can, was back in Little Havana this year. You may remember that last year these pups were $1 (as in won dolla). Well, the good folks at Casa Juancho – home to the sumo wrestlers – marked it up 100% this year! That’s right, this year Sapporos were
Still the best deal in town, by far. Remember, these sumos are good for 22 oz. Did you notice the Don Q for $3? Oowee!
Nevertheless, last year’s rules (click here for last year’s rules) were still kind of in place this year. The New Balance 992’s? Check. Canon PowerShot SD 750? Got it. Hat down low? Yes, Sir. Arnette eyewear? You know it.
What else? Mas na’. Time to beat the pavement and make new friends.
Friends like
“Peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly with the baseball bat”.
How do you say “camel toe” in Spanish again?
You KNOW Puelto Jico was in the house. You can’t call it a party if you didn’t invite a Puerto Rican. Straight up.
Or maybe I’ll just keep it Clark Kent and kick it with
Naw, who wants to kick it with a mild-mannered reporter at an event like this when you can kick it with
No come dulce de leche por el colesterol. Dice palabras en ingles mezclada con español.
Or maybe I’ll just grub on some
Note: If the following conversation was taking place in Facebook, it would be taking place via the inbox, not on the wall (hint, hint!). Go ‘head and get you a lil’ Facebook etiquette for free…
Hachy (Cyber BFF), I thought about the paella and the dry ice and calculated the shipping costs and all that, but – remember the sumo wrestlers in a can?
I had a few.
Well, maybe a little more. You understand, I’m sure.
Not a big fan of paella? Let’s see what else is cooking:
Alright. That’s more my speed.
How ’bout some
I could’ve gone with
,
but opted for
and
Nicaraguans know their meat. The carne asada was as good as it looks. Very tasty. The gallo pinto? I’ve had much better. But remember – sumo wrestlers.
The arepa? I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a good one. Anybody know where they serve a good arepa?
Dessert?
Naw, this is a much better dessert
Sorry. I meant this
There.
Is that salsa music?
Of course. There’s a salsa school doing their thing in front of the stage. You know what I’m talking about. You got the guy screaming “Coca Cola” and everybody reacts to his call in synchronized manner. That’s dope. They practiced hard last week.
Hey, I know that voice. Yeah, the raspy backup vocals? You know it too? Is that…that’s him, right? You mean the guy who voted yes so that the Marlins can have their very own ballpark in the wrong location?
I knew it was him. He’s got some vocals. Good footwork too.
Damn, I lost my friends. Where did
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
go?
Damn. They left me.
Oh well, I wanted to buy you all a souvenir anyways. Check it out. I thought about getting you an
but then you’d think I’m cheap. So I thought about
but then you’d think I’m cheap AND a communist, so I thought “why don’t I just get them something that’ll show some good ole’ nationalistic pride?”
but I realized right before I was about to pay that not everyone wears a belt. So I moved on to the guy right next to him, cause he had
but I had to run out of there. Homeboy threatened to sue me after I questioned the authenticity of his goods while photographing them. Take a look:
That’s a Louie baby!
Having to stop to catch my breath gave me a chance to think.
Being that
I thought to myself, “Why would I buy you, my loyal readers, a generic gift at Calle Ocho when I can give you the gift that keeps on giving?”. You can have your very own straight-to-video copy of “Keep It Raunchy, Mami (and Papi)”. It’ll serve as a new and improved edition of “Calle Ocho: When In Doubt”.
You can thank me later.
Adrian Salgado is a realtor associate with dash – real estate company and can be reached at 305-491-7179 or SalgadoA@gmail.com. You can friend him on Facebook, follow him on Twitter, and/or connect with him on LinkedIn.
