Realest Ate Miami

Caution: Transporting Children While Macking Hoes

October 30, 2008 · 6 Comments

I don’t know about you, but 20 years ago this is the guy I wanted taking me home from St. Michael the Archangel (Home of the Crusaders), a catholic school for those holier than thou.

Interlude: My fellow Crusaders, do you realize that for 8 years of our innocent live-inside-a-bubble youth we proudly wore the word “CRUSADERS” across our chest during Physical Education? I feel dirty.

As a matter of fact, I want my parents’ tuition money back, Father Paz.

Sister Carolyn, you were the best principle ever. I remember when you were my substitute teacher one year. I think it was 7th grade. It was one of the funnest days ever. You couldn’t control the students. That was the day I lost what little respect I had left for you. I love the way you used to twirl the back of your hair around while you would speak publicly to the students. It was of way of saying “I feel so insecure right now”. You were nice and soft spoken, though. I appreciate that.

Sister Mary Gil, keep your hands to yourself. If you were to try that now, you’d get your a*s handed to you. Kids nowadays don’t play. You think you got authority cause you’re an adult? Try again. Mary (can I call you that?), I always wondered who your barber was? He would hook you up with the illest flattops, square sideburns and all. I was so jealous.

Parents, the gentleman driving this Chevrolet Express not only assures your child’s safe return from school, he offers a lesson that can only be rivaled by the after school program held every afternoon on the southeast corner of SR 441 and Miami Gardens Drive.

Your children don’t want the oh-so-boring Maranatas, Franmars, and Carlos & Susanas of the world. Give ‘em what they want. Give ‘em the guy who uses caution when transporting children while macking hoes.

Photo Credit: Manuel “Manolete” Vidal

Adrian Salgado is a Realtor Associate in Miami, FL and can be reached at 305-491-7179 or SalgadoA@gmail.com.

Categories: News of the Different
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Foreclosure Opportunity – 10820 SW 200 DR #108S Miami-Dade, FL 33157 – $51,300

October 30, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Another foreclosure opportunity brought to you by the REO Mavens.

Property Characteristics

  • 2 Bedrooms
  • 1 Full Bath
  • 750 SF
  • Year Built = 1974
  • Condo Conversion = 2006

This 2 bed/1 bath condo unit is located on the ground floor of a 4-story building in Cutler Gardens, a gated community with amenities that include a swimming pool and clubhouse.

Unit is in maintained condition and features tile in the foyer, kitchen, and bath and carpet in the living area and bedrooms. Kitchen cabinets are in place. An electric range/oven is in place. There is no refrigerator.

Cutler Gardens is located in very close proximity to the Florida Turnpike, US 1, the South Dade Busway, and Southland Mall.

For more information contact me at 305-491-7179.

Adrian Salgado is a Realtor Associate in Miami, FL and can be reached at 305-491-7179 or SalgadoA@gmail.com.

Categories: Foreclosures
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